October 31-November 2, 2014 in Newark, NJ, USA.
Evolution: from Hurting to Healing.
Globally, more than 850 million males are estimated to be victims. Healing is possible… Read more >>
To Whom It May Concern,
My son, (name withheld) was sent to prison last June for 12 months for possession and selling of cannabis. He had just turned 18 and was certainly not prison materiel (in my opinion) He spent 6 months at Paparoa youth prison in Christchurch.It was a devastating time for us all. He had a rough few years getting very heavily involved in drugs, alcohol and taking massive risks, breaking bones, cutting himself and attempting suicide. Unbeknown to me he was being sexually abused by my partner whom he had loved very deeply and trusted completely. I had no idea why his behaviour had taken such a turn as he was head boy at his school, played (sport withheld) for the New Zealand team for 5 years and received the sports award at the end of the year. He was doing really well in his life and then took a big turn for the worst which resulted in him going to prison.
I went on anti depressants in order to cope with the behaviour and he eventually told me what was going on. I had no idea where to turn or to where to look for help as I had never come across this before or had never met anyone who had been sexually abused. A friend who is involved with victim support told me about Ken Clearwater and the Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse team in Christchurch. I flew up to meet with them and was introduced to Paul. I told him our story and he agreed to go and visit my son in prison. This was the first ray of hope I had since the discovery of the abuse. He was very kind and compassionate towards me and gave me lots of support.
Paul went and met with my son over a period of months and the visits had a huge impact upon him. He finally felt safe and appreciated having someone he could talk to. He really looked forward to the visits, especially appreciating being treated like a person and with respect. On my last visit Paul sat in with us both and helped put some systems in place for when he came home. This was very helpful, as I did not know what to expect or how I should handle him. Paul touched base with me frequently, to see how I was getting on and this meant the world to me as he could relate and help me with what I was going through.
Since his release he has got a building apprenticeship and is doing really well. He has had a few bumps as was to be expected but he now has ambition and is working towards a goal. He is off drugs, drinks only once a week and is determined to make something of his life. The improvements in him are really encouraging and I finally feel my sweet, loving, kind boy is back!
I totally support this organization and would not have got through this terrible situation had it not been for them. They saved us both and we now have a happy, healthy family once again (without the offender of course). I cannot speak highly enough of Ken and Paul and the work they are doing. There work is a very necessary part of rehabilitation for boys and the support and advice is invaluable. For them to visit boys in prison makes a huge impact as they have no one on the inside who totally understands what they have been through. I cannot rate this organization highly enough. We desperately need them in our society.
(Mother’s name withheld)
NEW PAGES – MSSAT HOME PAGE AND RESEARCH PAGE and LATEST NEWS
The “MSSAT HOME” page gives a little background to the formation of the Trust.
We are delighted to post a Research paper received from Donald Pettitt Manager of the Canterbury Mens Centre and written by Research Scholar Silas Thielmann while he was with the CMC. We welcome your feedback on his findings. See the “RESEARCH PAGE” link.
MSSAT National Manager Ken Clearwater currently at an International Male Survivor Conference in the UK was a “star” attraction at the NZ Police Tane Toa camp at Hanmer Springs in October 2011, apparently his mountain bike exploits had to be seen to be believed with only his pride dented. But seriously, excellent feedback received from the NZ Police, Ken engaged with and related well with the youngsters who were inspired by such a fantastic role model.
VICTIMS NO LONGER RESIDENTIAL RETREAT WITH MIKE LEW M. ED. AT BLUE SKIES KAIAPOI NORTH CANTERBURY.
Our residential workshop commences on Friday 29 July 2011 with 18 participants mainly local survivors but a special welcome is extended to the men from Dunedin and Wellington.
We are most grateful for the financial support we received from THE LION FOUNDATION towards this retreat.
LATEST ON MSSAT IN CHRISTCHURCH AND THANKS TO RECENT SPONSORS.
We are still without an official office, Manager Ken and CSW Paul are visiting clients in their homes or over coffee, John is carrying out the admin requirements from his home and hosting weekly staff meetings. The weekly support group is meeting at the rooms of a Trustee’s workplace, and the Trust Board meets there monthly as well.
Ken is the Chair of the Christchurch Community House (our old home) Tenants Board and along with House Manager Mike and his assistant Eileen investigating alternative short to medium term premises as the fate of CCH doesnot look great. The five story building in the heart of the “Red Zone” CBD has dropped at one corner and is likely to be demolished along with many other buildings. Mike & Eileen now have a short term office and negotiations are underway for a larger “house” for tenants use.
MSSAT appreciates the support we have already received in the current financial year (commenced 1 April 2011) from the MINISTRY OF SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT, LION FOUNDATION as mentioned above, PUB CHARITY and UNITED WAY NZ, the latter made donations to various Canterbury Trusts at a function this week where many of us met up with old friends from CCH for the first time since the February quake.
Male Survivors has moved because of the February Christchurch earthquake. We are working from temporary premises. All staff members are well and continuing their work in the best way they can during these difficult times. All contact details remain the same.
Warm wishes form MSSAT Staff
Ken, John and Paul
Published on National Catholic Reporter (http://ncronline.org)
Recently I finished reading Xavier Rynne’s monumental volume on the Second Vatican Council. I didn’t read it when it was first published because I was struggling through theology, just trying to get a grip on the dogmatic and canonical mysteries of the Catholic church I was born into and into which I had thought I’d soon be ordained.
Reading the book now was more soul-jarring than had I read it then. What’s so shocking?
At the council there were a significant number of bishops, archbishops and cardinals who actually had a handle on the real world and on the reasons the Church Triumphant left by Pius XII was so out of touch. This is shocking in light of the fact that these men were raised in a radically different church, steeped in clericalism, power and control. Read More…
The Welsh rugby squad won praise from charity fundraisers in New Zealand yesterday after dipping into their own pockets to help a local cause. They handed over $NZ1800 collected amongst themselves in a light hearted fines system imposed for small misdemeanors.
Players or coaches who wore the wrong strip for team training or turned up late for any meeting faced tough fines from the tour watchdog, hooker Matthew Rees. He quickly collected a pot of cash which the players decided they wanted to go to a good cause. They were then told about the MSSAT Waikato Trust which gives vital help to male victims of sexual abuse.
Charity boss Mike Holloway met the squad at a Waikato Stadium on the eve of test training session where the cash was handed over. He said: “This is a magnificent gesture by the boys and every dollar will be used to help young men and boys who are in urgent need. Our charity focuses on a very difficult subject so having the support of the Welsh squad will help young victims find the confidence to come forward. “This is a substantial donation for us and I am full of respect for their decision to give us this direct help.” Read More…